I need to change the title of this Blog to "Life Satisfied".
On March 9, 2012 I stopped working. Some would call it retirement, but it was prompted by my Stage IV ('there-is-no-Stage-V') cancer and I have been approved for Social Security Disability which will begin sometime in late October. Each day has been lovely, and even as we stroll into summer, the overall feeling is a good one. These past 2 weeks I have been focusing on finding and repairing leaks in the yard, both pool and irrigation. Water Dragons rule! Slowly I'm getting the out-of-doors whipped into shape, but there is less and less time that can be spent outside comfortably, so soon we will go into 'working in the garden remission', waiting til October to reappear...and when you can only do about an hour a day, it takes a while. And that's okay. I'm not in a hurry.
The cancer continues to be slow-growing, indolent. I love that word. It sort of sums me up I think. Indolent. Slow. The spots we are watching are small and they are in my left lung. we believe this is cancer, but it is too small to biopsy. However, given my history, both my oncologist and I believe it is cancer. I'm on a little break from the more toxic treatments right now. I was on the last combo, Xeloda and Tykerb, for a year and a half. I quit them in January and by February I began to feel like myself again. I had an appetite, I didn't feel as sick as I did before I stopped. A lot of my depression lifted. And when I quit my job? The anxiety melted away. Took a while. Still get flashbacks from time to time. We do watch my tumor markers with blood draws. they continue to increase steadily, but again, not to extreme levels, and no big changes in anything on the scans.
I should be eligible to move onto medicare I believe in April of 2014. Which is around the time frame when most other Affordable Healthcare Act programs get implemented. In the meantime, I pay $450 a month to maintain my United Healthcare Insurance through COBRA. I could look for something cheaper, one of those plans they set up to cover folks with pre-existing conditions, but in order to qualify, I need to be able to show that for 6 months, I had no insurance coverage at all. How does that really help me? Why should I be made to consider a gamble like that? One car accident away from bankruptcy. Ach.
But I digress. Happy.
So last week I finally was able to tackle looking at the paperwork for AHCCCS, the state's healthcare plan for the less fortunate. What I determined was that I had been approved. I had then been unapproved. But the rules say you get a minimum of 5 months of coverage, so even though I'm not technically approved, I have coverage that I can use. It is, to term it in the least, confusing.
All of this time to think, and all of the hoopla of trying to get my needs taken care of as far as my health is concerned!! I'm beginning to think about letting go of the insurance entirely. But that would mean I couldn't use insurance to check on my status, so I would have to give up knowing what my status is. My choices seem to focus on the cancer or focus on living.
So how would I react to the following:
Chest pains - Treat me
Nausea that increases in frequency and strength and doesn't quit - See what's causing it
Difficulty Breathing - See what's causing it. If cancer, let it be. If pneumonia, treat it.
Anything that would signal brain mets - ignore as long as possible, then hospice
Car accident - Emergency room and treatment, including rehab if I need to re-learn to walk, etc.
Cold or Flu -Primary Care Doc
Hemorrhoids, diarrhea, constipation -Primary Care Doc
Cuts, etc. -Primary Care Doc
As I suspected, I'm not quite ready for off-the-grid existence. I love me some Western Medicine when my leg is broken.
That's plenty for one day. Be Good.
Mae
