Hans and me

Hans is both aggressive and needy. He's probably aggressive because he is so needy. Am I assigning human feelings and emotions to him? Somehow, I just don't think so. What he does and what he feels is very real and true.

There was a time in my life when I was so incredibly needy. (I was NOT, however, aggressive!) I felt 'cast adrift' when my mother died. She was 48, I was 16. I ended up doing some things that traumatized me even more, and then spent years bawling about them and my mother, to anyone who would listen.

Here's what would be the equivalent of my 'elevator speech' back in the early 70's.

Hi. My mother died when I was 16 and 9 months later my father married a woman who is 2 years older than me. (Silent message: Bring on the Pity!!!)

My first year in college, my good friend Patty gave me a card that (basically) said "No one wants to hear about this anymore." So I pretty much didn't talk to her after that. Fast forward another six or seven years and I got the same speech from Gayle. That time I listened.

I am so completely different from the young girl I was, and not just because I'm older. Thank you to all of you who pushed me along and helped me grow. And not just back then. Right up til now.